Endless Cycles
One of the many frustrating things about health and fitness journeys for me is that it is never over. You don't just hit a magic weight and then get to relax and hang out there. No, it's always changing. We continue to get older. We run into different medical issues. We have injuries. Heck, the seasons change and disrupt routine. If nothing ever changed, we'd probably get bored with the routine anyway. My approach to my health and trying to be fit is always changing.
I wrote a few years about my weight steadily increasing despite keeping the same healthy eating and exercise habits. It never stopped going up. I could never figure out why--and I still don't know why all the way. I would eat smarter, eliminate all snacking, never eat fast food (and only eat at restaurants when family is visiting like every couple of months), and work out harder. I did cardio. I did weights. I did Piyo. I did various workouts I found on Pinterest. Nothing helped. I guessed that maybe it was just all of the migraine medication I have to take. I shrugged.
I go through this same cycle. I get frustrated with the scale going up and up. I decide that I have to stop it. I eat well. I exercise a LOT. I decide that I'm just trying to be healthy and to stop the gaining before I end up at an unhealthy weight. I accept myself. Then Facebook and Instagram realize I'm trying to get more fit, so they throw tons of ads of super athletic, strong women in attempts to sell me things. And then I think, "Maybe I can look like that. Maybe I'm not OK with how I am." So then I get more intense. Last year, I was exercising almost two hours every day. And it never went anywhere. Then I just burn out. What's the point in trying so hard without any results at all? I mean, YOLO. Bake cookies with your kids and then actually eat the cookies alongside your kids too. Right? And then I see that I'm continuing to gain gain gain. So I start all over.
Right now, I'm in one of those "must be fit" stages. My scale starting getting too close to 130 for my comfort. I knew I had to change something. Again. I tried to combine all of my efforts in a new way. Usually, I would do 30 minutes of cardio three times a week by running outside. A lot of "trends" are saying that cardio is not all that necessary if you are doing HIIT. Eh, well, I decided to try doing cardio 30 minutes a day every day using our elliptical. I couldn't run outside more than three days a week because my shins would hurt. With the elliptical, I can do it every day without pain. I also am alternating between "leg day" and "abs and arms day" with weights. That gives me about 50 minutes of exercise every day.
Lately, my rushed diet was not so great. I was not taking in a lot of calories, but I was not eating well either. For breakfast, I might eat some gold fish while putting together my sons' lunches. At lunch, I might have a lean cuisine or peanut butter sandwich. Then for dinner, we'd have a good meal--usually something like chicken, blackbeans, and rice or chicken, potatoes, and broccoli, and so on. Nothing mindblowing. Yet I was still gaining and gaining and gaining. Whaaat?!
I wrote a few years about my weight steadily increasing despite keeping the same healthy eating and exercise habits. It never stopped going up. I could never figure out why--and I still don't know why all the way. I would eat smarter, eliminate all snacking, never eat fast food (and only eat at restaurants when family is visiting like every couple of months), and work out harder. I did cardio. I did weights. I did Piyo. I did various workouts I found on Pinterest. Nothing helped. I guessed that maybe it was just all of the migraine medication I have to take. I shrugged.
I go through this same cycle. I get frustrated with the scale going up and up. I decide that I have to stop it. I eat well. I exercise a LOT. I decide that I'm just trying to be healthy and to stop the gaining before I end up at an unhealthy weight. I accept myself. Then Facebook and Instagram realize I'm trying to get more fit, so they throw tons of ads of super athletic, strong women in attempts to sell me things. And then I think, "Maybe I can look like that. Maybe I'm not OK with how I am." So then I get more intense. Last year, I was exercising almost two hours every day. And it never went anywhere. Then I just burn out. What's the point in trying so hard without any results at all? I mean, YOLO. Bake cookies with your kids and then actually eat the cookies alongside your kids too. Right? And then I see that I'm continuing to gain gain gain. So I start all over.
Right now, I'm in one of those "must be fit" stages. My scale starting getting too close to 130 for my comfort. I knew I had to change something. Again. I tried to combine all of my efforts in a new way. Usually, I would do 30 minutes of cardio three times a week by running outside. A lot of "trends" are saying that cardio is not all that necessary if you are doing HIIT. Eh, well, I decided to try doing cardio 30 minutes a day every day using our elliptical. I couldn't run outside more than three days a week because my shins would hurt. With the elliptical, I can do it every day without pain. I also am alternating between "leg day" and "abs and arms day" with weights. That gives me about 50 minutes of exercise every day.
Lately, my rushed diet was not so great. I was not taking in a lot of calories, but I was not eating well either. For breakfast, I might eat some gold fish while putting together my sons' lunches. At lunch, I might have a lean cuisine or peanut butter sandwich. Then for dinner, we'd have a good meal--usually something like chicken, blackbeans, and rice or chicken, potatoes, and broccoli, and so on. Nothing mindblowing. Yet I was still gaining and gaining and gaining. Whaaat?!
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